Our breakup message is SO successful

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One of many reactions I got to last week’s post about why you should send a breakup message when getting ghosted 👻.

This one came from Cat Noone, Co-Founder & CEO of Stark. A follow-up discussion led to her sharing how Stark sends breakup messages and why they work so well.

It was too good not to share with you too!

Let’s start with Stark’s actual breakup message:

Hello everyone,

Looping back here as it seems like this isn’t a massive priority right now for y’all, and I want to be sure that I don’t swarm your inbox.

With that said, we’ll close this convo out for now on our end, but you can absolutely pick it back up whenever you want! We definitely want to work with you all at [Company], and are more than happy to continue the process once you’re ready.

Hope to talk soon!

Here’s what’s happening psychologically to trigger a high response rate:

1. Perception: Stark includes everyone that attended the meeting(s) in the breakup email (“Hello everyone”). Perception to the wider whole is a powerful drug in corporates, especially for “higher ups”.
2. Accountability: Stark states boldly that “this isn’t a massive priority” for the company which creates accountability for them / they recognize that it makes them look bad. Stark’s products help make software accessible to people with disabilities - no one wants to be seen as not prioritizing accessibility.
3. Creating accountability works for almost any product (i.e. implying a potential customer “doesn’t care about saving cost”, “giving their people the best tools to be successful”, etc.). When doing so, don’t point fingers / be too aggressive about making your prospect(s) look bad though. Implying it the way Stark does works best.
4. Clear Why: Give them a clear “why” you’re stopping the process (“don’t want to swarm your inbox”). This is creates a positive signal as you don’t want to tarnish the relationship with bad sales tactics (i.e. continue spamming them).
5. Focus & Scarcity: By closing it out from their end, Stark portraits their ability to focus on higher impact priorities (while the customer can’t seem to) and increases their perceived “importance” by invoking a “scarcity effect” (us humans place a higher value on an object that is perceived to be scarce).
6. Open Door: Leave the door open and end with kindness: “We definitely want to work with you all, and are more than happy to continue the process once you’re ready”. This shows the prospect that you have no hard feelings and makes it easier for them to come back (don’t also have to overcome their own ego when coming back).

To summarize it in Cat’s own words:

This breakup message is kind and respectful while at the same time very honest with reasons, expectations and accountability at the helm. That’s how any breakup should happen.

Well said, thank you for sharing Cat!

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